Vent

I probably shouldn't even publish this post because it will be nothing but "poor pitiful me"...but I just have to get all of this off my chest. I don't think anyone reads my blog anyway...but if you are reading and you don't want to hear me gripe and complain, then stop reading now.

I am not having a very good day. What seems to be bothering me the most is the fact that I just went through something very difficult and instead of feeling supported, I feel completely alone. It's really weird. I feel invisible...just like I don't exist. Something happened to me Sunday at church, and ever since...I have been down in the dumps. This is how the conversation went:

"You didn't tell me you were expecting!"

(me) "I lost the baby."

"I know...so in so told me...were ya'll trying?"

(me) "We were surprised, but yes, we wanted another baby"

"Well, you can try again"

(me) "We haven't decided yet. I have had 3 miscarriages, so I don't know if I want to go through that again."

"Really? I didn't know that! Well at least you have two healthy children."

(me) "yes, that's true."

"I was praying for you. I know I didn't call you, but things have been crazy."

(me) "I appreciate the prayers."


Now how would that make YOU feel?

Ever since I lost the baby, I feel like I have the plague! Instead of drawing others closer, it seems to have pushed people away.

What can I learn from this? The fact that I will ALWAYS have God, my husband, my kids, and my immediate family even when no one else seems to care. And to be honest, I don't "need" anybody else. I am learning to be happy and content and to focus more on my family.